UFC Countdown was an excellent promotional special building up the Ultimate Fighting Championship heavyweight title fight between UFC legend Randy Couture and former amateur wrestling champion and World Wrestling Entertainment star Brock Lesnar.
Verbal comedy was unexpectedly prominent. Apparently, Lesnar learned a trade during his professional wrestling stint.
He was in the make-up chair prior to a television appearance both fighters were making. You don't need much make-up, opined the lady responsible for such matters. Lesnar surmised: "Couture was in the chair for 45 minutes. She's got no materials left."
When the make-up technician began using an airbrush gun on him, he requested "pin-stripes".
UFC president Dana White chimed in, advising the expert, "You're going to need a bigger gun to do that whole head."
Somewhat unkind, but much like everything else about Lesnar that can be visually determined on a PG-rated basis, he really does have an unusually large scone.
Size was also the issue in a true landmark moment in Australian sport TV history on the weekend. Unfortunately, your correspondent missed it entirely. However, through the agency of our on-the-spot-via-armchair source, we can report that dwarf boxing has finally come to the dignified, if not hallowed, halls of Australian pay-TV boxing cards. Our reporter's terminology may lack for political correctness there, but isolating anything about such an enterprise that could be deemed politically correct would presumably require an electron microscope and an unearthly amount of patience.
One might have imagined that compromising the sporting purity of such suburban Leagues Club "fite-nite" extravaganzas — routinely featuring protagonists proudly daubed on chest and back with the names of various local concreters, used-car emporia, and houses of ill-repute — would have been a practical impossibility.
However, it has to be admitted that the advent of little-person boxing as a special feature attraction might just about do the trick.
From conceptual comedy back to the verbal, then — some quick highlights from the ATP Masters Cup match between Andy Murray and Roger Federer. Colour commentator Robbie Koenig, summarising his appreciation of the encounter: "I'm definitely giving this one my stamp of authority."
One would like to see that stamp, which presumably is similar to the kind of grading indication placed on meat by US food authorities. Well, either that, or he meant "stamp of approval".
And main commentator Jason Goodall: "It will increase his chances of winning the match expotentially (sic)."
Apparently, Jason attended maths classes about as religiously as the good folks at Main Event channel — who delayed the Couture-Lesnar screening until today so they could show replays of an Andre Rieu concert all day Sunday — turned up for Programming Priorities 101.
(Credit: The Age)
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