'Ok, we've got the Nathan Hindmarsh-Kevin Sheedy stoush boiling,'' David Gallop is saying. ''What next?''
''What about 'Plugger' Lockett?'' says Andrew Demetriou. ''Instead of supporting Greater Western Sydney, he says it will be a flop. Thinks the crowds for GWS will make the old West Sydney Razorbacks look like the LA Lakers. Says AFL has become soft and he prefers league. Reckon that will make a headline?''
''Love it,'' says Gallop. ''Then you produce Tommy Raudonikis holding a GWS membership. Any chance soccer will knock that off the back page? Ben Buckley's chance!''
The escalating war between the NRL and the AFL for the ''hearts and minds'' - and, mostly, the wallets - of the suddenly very desirable people of western Sydney has been cast as a bitter, no-holds barred, knock 'em down, drag 'em out affair. However, far from a bloodbath, you could be forgiven for believing the current propaganda battle was being staged by wrestling impresario Vince McMahon.
There will come a time when the battle is joined. A time when the presence in the west of a battalion of the NRL's finest on the same day AFL premiers Geelong are pressing the flesh with civic leaders, as will happen today, will create real friction rather than merely providing the impression that guns are blazing.
But, for now, there is an element of mutual back-scratching in the media circus created by the rhetoric of the AFL's invading General Sheedy and the NRL's border protection scheme led by Wing Commander Hindmarsh.
As the AFL's savvy media manipulators are well aware, every time their acronym is mentioned in the same breath as that of the entrenched code the game gains currency in a marketplace where it still has not much more than a fancy new training facility, the ear of some local political and business heavyweights and a database containing the names of people who ticked the ''might be interested in AFL'' box on the survey thrust in their face at a shopping mall.
For the NRL, the perceived threat posed by AFL helps energise a couch-bound fan base. This sabre-rattling provides a demonstration of the game's strong position before television rights negotiations that could underpin league's long-term future.
Meanwhile, as the NRL and AFL dominate media coverage and prepare to split the lion's share of those television dollars, their propaganda war lengthens the long shadow cast over other football codes and sports.
On Sunday, Sydney FC take on Melbourne Victory for the minor premiership. It is a headline moment five years in the making for the fully inclusive, family-friendly league. The SFS should overflow. Yet, with attendances softening this season and pre-match publicity lukewarm, the spruikers merely hope the crowd will nudge a respectable 30,000.
Beleaguered one-day cricket faces another referendum at the SCG on Friday night. It does not help that the West Indies are becalmed without a Gayle. Yet, even at its best, the 50-over game looks like Madonna sharing a stage with Lady Gaga. Kindly types propose yet more facelifts but Twenty20 merely highlights how old its laborious act has become.
There is some excitement about the start of the Super 14 season. Enthusiasts predict new rules interpretations will see some games lurch to the watchable side of turgid - not a sentiment to have those who only pay attention to rugger when the Wallabies are up and about scrambling for the remote control.
The National Basketball League - remember that? - yesterday announced a 7 per cent increase in average crowds during its transitional season. While encouraging for the loyalists, an increase from 3342 per game to 3563 is merely a critically ill patient revealing a faint pulse.
Meanwhile, those at Channel Nine who have made a big prime-time commitment to the Winter Olympics hold their breath hoping the coverage will not provide a variation on an old line: You can go broke over-estimating the public's demand for biathlon and curling. Seven bumped the Australian Open tennis for the news. What chance downhill skiing is replaced by ''Two And A Half Men In A Toboggan''?
How much the NRL and AFL's media dominance has contributed to the relative struggles of their rivals is difficult to estimate. But their omnipresence has not been lost on the television networks who will spend the lion's share of tight budgets securing NRL and AFL rights.
So, for now, there is a sense of win-win about the so-called battle of the west. Something to make the conspiracy theorists nod knowingly should Buddy Franklin be photographed having a cup of coffee with Wayne Bennett. (Credit: Fairfax Media)
Australian Sports Entertainment
